Monday, August 31, 2009

Nice drive to Blowing Rock

Saturday was a nice day for a drive.  We went up to Blowing Rock, NC, for the day.  Not a bad drive from Winston-Salem--about 1.5 hours.  Very picturesque with the mountains and Christmas tree farms.  We passed the Blue Ridge Parkway and went through Boone along the way.  Blowing Rock has quite a number of cute shops, not all prohibitively expensive like some towns similar (i.e. Waynesville).  A fairly good sized park was available for all the kiddies, like Lily, who desperately needed some leg-stretching time.  We saw people with picnic baskets which is a great alternative to the pricier restaurants in town.

I wouldn't mind going back up that way and seeing more of the scenery.  Perhaps take a hike and look for a waterfall or something.  I imagine that area gets very crowded as the leaves change, the holidays approach and the snow falls.

We also visited the Mast General Store in Valle Crucis.  Lots of memories in the hard-to-find candies!  Good selection of sale-priced Columbia, Royal Robbin, etc. clothing, too.

All in all, a great way to beat the heat of the 'city' in the summer!

Sunday, August 30, 2009

She Speaks to Me

Our school had its first home football game Friday night. There was a pep rally, there was a spirit day (jeans and t-shirts, not uniforms), there was tailgating...

And if you're wondering what happened with "Joe," God listened and favored him. The boys decided to take him back at a price, and Friday night he joined his teammates out on the field for his senior year.

And I missed it all.

Instead, I went to hear Beth Moore, and I'm here to tell you, the woman can bring it. And I have to say, that even though Coach and the football team experienced quite a big win Friday night, NOTHING could have topped what Bethie taught this weekend. (Sorry Coach)


The passage she taught from: Psalm 37. The title of her teaching: "The Heart of Your Desire."

Mmmm mmmm mmm. Good stuff.

She focused on Psalm 37:4 "Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart."

The weekend was simulcasted from Green Bay, Wisconsin to 93,000+ women (and approximately 15 men), but she might as well have been sitting in my living room with me, because I'm pretty darned certain that no one benefited more than I did.

If you know me well, the following will explain a lot:

"Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes. Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret--it leads only to evil. For evil men will be cut off, but those who hope in the Lord will inherit the Land...The wicked plot against the righteous and gnash their teeth at them; but the Lord laughs at the wicked, for he knows their day is coming...their swords will pierce their own hearts, and their bows will be broken...for the power of the wicked will be broken...the days of the blameless are known to the Lord, and their inheritance will endure forever...

If the Lord delights in a man's way, he makes his steps firm; though he stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with his hand.

I was young and now I am old, yet I have NEVER seen the righteous forsaken or their children begging bread...For the Lord loves the just and will not forsake his faithful ones."

Psalm 37:7-28

We deal with some "evil" and "wicked" folk here at the Momsense home (not actually "in" our home but in an effort to protect those who are "in" our home). It's exhausting, it's hurtful, it's terrifying, it's maddening...and on a few days it's just almost more than we can stand.

In Beth's words, these people were taking some serious "bites out of our delight." But it was because we were letting them.

No more my friends- the feast ends here.

Today is a new day. Today I will begin to believe His Word over my circumstances or my history. Today I will stop being angry over past circumstances and their consequences. I will, instead, choose to delight in a job that allows me to use my gifts, to delight in a man who really, really loves me, to delight in children who bring joy into our house, and to delight in a God who delights in me.

That's the way it should be; that is life abundant.

We're singing a new song here: "as for me, I watch in hope for the Lord, I wait for God my Savior; my God WILL hear me." Micah 7:7

Actually, we're singing a couple of songs here, one not so new...

ROCKY TOP YOU'LL ALWAYS BE HOME SWEET HOME TO ME...


Because in a mere 6 days we'll be sitting in Neyland Stadium celebrating the boy turning 13 and the opening of college football!!!

And let me just say that while we're there...

THERE WILL BE SOME SERIOUS DELIGHT!!!

AMEN.

See y'all!

Saturday, August 29, 2009

A lot has happened since then.....

Well, I just realized my last post was in FEBRUARY.....Well, here we are almost in Sept. Wow has time flown, and BOY have a lot of things happened since then. Well, I don't know that I could say A LOT of things have happened, but one BIG thing has happened.....

IM PREGNANT!!! AGAIN!!!! Baby # 3 is due March 1st. I'm excited, but sometimes (on those very stressful days :) ) I wonder - what the heck am I thinking??? I am actually very excited and want the baby to come now. This pregnancy seems to be going much slower than the other two, but maybe that is because I have been pregant twice before and now I just want to hold the baby.

I had my 3rd dr. appt this past week. Each one I have been blessed to be able to get a sonogram. I don't know what I will do when a visit comes that I won't get to SEE the baby. 1st sonogram was at 6 weeks - confirming, determining due date, and seeing heartbeat. The next visit was as 9 weeks. We were supposed to see the ultrasound tech - check brain fluid and make sure baby was looking good. Well, they did not schedule the appt. with the ultrasound tech, just the dr., so she left. The dr. decided to go a head and do the check, but said she wanted me to be checked by the ultrasound tech - since she is the professional in that field. So, this visit - 13 wks, we got ANOTHER sonogram. I love getting to see the baby and see the heartbeat for myself. I asked her if we could check for "parts", so she checked quickly. She did not want to say for SURE, since we are so early, but she said her bet is a girl....about 85% sure. I really hope nothing was hiding :). We will go back at 17 wks and confirm then. The baby looks great - both the doctor and the ultrasound tech commented that the baby looked "cute" and "healthy."

Even though we "think" we might be having a girl, I am trying to refrain from buying anything girl until we know for sure. A part of me thinks that I might ginx it - yes I know I could return it if need be. I just don't want to get my hopes up too much - although I'm REALLY excited. Don't get me wrong, if it is a boy I will be just fine. I was just hoping for the last baby to be a girl so I could get all the pink frilly things that I didn't get to get with Kaitlyn. Besides, I think God wants me to have a girl too because Kaitlyn said she would cry if she did not have a sister and even prayed to God to ask him if she could have a sister. :)

I do have a girl name picked out - Alexis Grace....I really like it. Daddy has not said one way or the other, and Kaitlyn thinks we can name the baby Kaitlyn too.... Silly girl. Tyler still is not sure what is going on, and I am not sure he will be too thrilled when we bring the baby home. We still have a while - and he will be 2 1/2, so I'm hoping it won't be too bad......We shall see....

I will try to update a little more often, but no promises :)

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Playgroups and dogparks

Wondering if posting something in the OakValley newsletter about playdates and playgroups would bring any response...there's a group that gets together on Thurdsday mornings at 10 AM in Tanglewood Park.
I am glad to see some interest in a dog park being built in Western Forsyth County (Clemmons).  I wish to see one built in Davie/Clemmons area, but that land is already so expensive.

I am amazed everyday at how hard it is to stick to a schedule with a toddler.  All the experts emphasize the importance of keeping a routine.  I am finding that Miss Lily keeps whatever routine she likes.  I just work around it or not.  She is sleeping better these days, and that's a blessing.  I was so worried about her getting enough sleep.  Brains can't develop without enough good sleep!

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

cool new toy

discovered a new site to create short videos from uploaded images

easy to use!  great for proud moms and dads  (or anyone!)

www.animoto.com

Monday, August 24, 2009

Not Even Sam Moon Can Help Me Now

The little one had a birthday on Friday. Had I been any sort of mother at all, I would have written something sentimental and sweet to celebrate the occasion.

Due to circumstances which were well within my control, the post didn't happen. I'll be short here- I need to learn my limits and be okay with working within them. The past few days have been a bit much...and that is a gross understatement. I was just one event short of a well-deserved vacation in the funny farm.

Anyway, I took AC to Target today to spend her gift card and birthday money. She's developed a burning love for The Littlest Pet Shop toys which I have to confess I much prefer to Polly Pockets. Three years ago someone gave her the Polly Pocket shopping mall, and I swear we are still vacuuming little plastic shoes.

On the way in she was screeching with joy at the thought of getting to buy something. And she said to me, "I love buying stuff. It doesn't matter what it is, I even like buying things at the hardware store."

Hello NASA, I think we have a problem. The child just admitted she's just as happy buying L-brackets and paint as she is buying toys. It's the buying, not the acquiring that has her hooked. Spare you the details...long conversation...buying is baaaaaad...poor children in Africa....be a good steward of resources....blah, blah, blah.

Later tonight she was clarifying for the gazillionth time why she cannot wear necklaces to bed. Again, spare you the details...safety...strangulation while sleeping...safety first...accessories are best enjoyed during the day...blah, blah, blah...

And then she asked what people who had broken necks did while they were sleeping. Odd.

I, perplexed beyond measure, wisely ask her "Why?"

"Well, if you can't wear anything around your neck at night, what kind of cast do they wear?"

To which I explained that neck casts, or as Coach says- cervical collars, are safe because they are meant to be worn while sleeping.

You see it coming don't you? I have to tell you, I totally did NOT.

"Mom, can we go to Lowes and get a neck cast for me to wear to bed?"

All so she can spend money and accessorize before sleeping.

And that my friends, is how I spent my afternoon.

See y'all!

Friday, August 21, 2009

Arizona Trip

Warning: Long Post Ahead.

We've planned for a while to visit Wes' folks at the Spring Valley cabin starting Monday, but then on Thursday before I thought, "Why waste the weekend?". I got on Hotwire, found a resort for $46/night in Phoenix, and we left Friday morning!

We expected Phoenix to be hot, but it wasn't too much of a problem since we planned to do outdoor things in the morning or evening, and indoor things in the afternoon. The only thing we missed was being able to just hang out at a park for an hour or so before dinner -- we ended up going to a mall instead. We had fun swimming at the resort each evening -- the boys are really getting good at swimming. They also had a little lake there with boats you could ride on, so we took a canoe out one morning.

The main reason I wanted to go to Phoenix was to see the Desert Botanical Garden. Onyx loves cactuses, especially saguaros, so this was a great chance for him to see them up close and learn more about them. Quartz and Sapphire liked it too, though it started to get hot around 10am (we got there at 8:30).




After that, we decided to go see the Hall of Flame museum of Firefighting. The main exhibits were lots and lots of old fire engines (like, horse-and-buggy fire engines to steam fire engines to modern fire engines), but they also had a really good kids' area and a fire engine the kids could board and try out.


On Sunday we headed up to Flagstaff. First we went to the Lowell Observatory, where the planet Pluto was discovered, among other things. It happened to be a free day, so that was handy. There was a small exhibit room with some space science type stuff, but the highlight was the tour. We got to see the really old gigantic telescope from when they first build the observatory in the early 1900s (Quartz even got to push the button to rotate the dome). It rotates on old Ford truck tires and has all sorts of great parts, like a saute pan for a scope cover, and a bicycle chain. I kind of wish we had come at night, though, so we could have seen something in the telescope. Lastly, they had an exhibit room where someone had sculpted figures to represent each planet. They were actually pretty cool.

We spent all of Monday morning at the Thorpe Park in Flagstaff. It was such a fun park; we played there for several hours. Plus, the cool weather felt so nice after Phoenix. The boys ran around playing Transformers, Sapphire chewed on sticks and crawled on the blanket, Wes lounged and played his Gameboy, and I enjoyed all those things, too. Then it was off to the cabin!

I really love this cabin. Two bedrooms, a nice kitchen and living room and bathroom, and several outdoor picnic tables and a fire pit, and some great things to do really close by. There's a meadow for birdwatching and exploring, foresty hills for climbing, obsidian and pumice for rock collecting, a pond for experimenting, and lots of shade for hanging out outside. Ralph brought his archery stuff, so we had fun shooting some arrows. Susan brought all sorts of great knitting projects, including an octopus and a sheep. The kids were never found without sticks in their hands. We stuffed ourselves with s'mores. We went hiking and found a geocache. We read while the kids played and showed off for their aunt and uncle and grandma and great-aunt (and the dogs).

We visited the Lava River Cave, but didn't hike the whole thing (kids were just too small -- there was a lot of rock scrambling with flashlights). It was still a really neat hike. They loved the adventure of using their flashlights for real and climbing on the rocks and exploring the cave. On the way there, Onyx said, "It's not a spooky cave." Then when we were climbing out he said, "It's just a little bit spooky."

The best part of this trip was that everyone got along pretty well. There were some arguments and whining, but mostly we all just had a good time together. Everyone was patient during the car rides (we brought Onyx's musical keyboard, and that was a GREAT idea; he and Quartz loved playing on it in the car). Sapphire is old enough to be staved off with snacks and toys, but not old enough to get into mischief, and the boys are old enough to handle missing a nap or waiting longer for a meal or something. I'm looking forward to when they grow up a little more and we can go on even more adventures together.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Because I Do Love the Sports...Okie Noodling

"A look at the sport of hand fishing. (Documentary)" That is the description of the program Coach and I are watching.

Not since Pig Bomb have I been more riveted. (Yes- a Discovery Channel documentary titled Pig Bomb: Sinister Swine - most fascinating thing I've seen until tonight. )

I'm now well into the second half hour of Okie Noodling on public television. Words cannot begin to describe the hair, the fashion, the accents...

Mmmm mmmm mmmm.



As we speak, I am watching Clyde, who has his right pointer finger and his left wrist bandaged in duct tape, talk about how he "attracts them poisonous snakes" as he throws a copperhead onto the bank.

He goes onto explain how he voluntarily took a copperhead bite last year in order to get the catfish... until his wife interrupts...finally someone with some sense...

or not...

because her remark went like this "I knew he could take the bite. I knew he'd be all right, that I could get him to the hospital to get an antibiotic before he went unconscious."

At this point is consciousness really a concern?

I'm just saying...

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Because I Could Be a Prophet...Maybe

Who knew that when I posted the "Perspective" post yesterday hoping it would offer a little perspective to someone out there, that I would turn out to be "someone"?

I love the verse- the whole idea that in a world where everything is uncertain and shakeable, one thing remains unshakeable,

Or perhaps two.

As it turns out, Coach's truck is also unshakeable, no matter how hard you ram it with your Accord while reversing out of THE DRIVEWAY.

What? Story sound familiar? Well that's because back in March, Coach reversed his big Dodge truck into my little Accord and crunched up the front- just a little birthday present really.

This morning I returned the sentiment and crunched up the back.

The good news is that the truck remains unscathed after two driveway collisions, and I've made a new friend at the body shop.

Life is funny that way. Well, my life is funny that way.

So, while I had planned on writing about the value and importance of trials by fire today, I think I'll hold back a day of two.

See y'all!

Monday, August 17, 2009

Perspective

In case you're in need of some...






"Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe, for our "God is a consuming fire."
Hebrews 12:28-29

See y'all!


Friday, August 14, 2009

The Prodigy...I Mean Prodigal

Jesus said, "Follow me and I will make you fishers of men." The point being that someone was going to have to go fish for them because many of us don't stay where we should for long, and then someone has to come and fish our sorry selves out of the water over and over again.

Things I've learned from being fished...

1. Some lessons are extraordinarily hard to learn.

2. Wisdom is the most expensive thing you'll ever possess.

3. None of us deserves a second chance...at anything.

4. And none of us would be where we are without second chances...and third chances...and fourth chances...

Which is why I am having such a hard time with something that perhaps seems really, really trivial.

It started earlier this week with this post that Melissa did about a young man attending their camp. I'm putting the link here- you HAVE to read it. YOU JUST HAVE TO. It has convicted me; changed my heart and my attitude. Just. Like. That. And I've never had that happen. I'm too stubborn for my own good, and when I get mad I like to bathe in it FOR A LOOOONG TIME.

I've been there. More people have run lines to provide me a way out than I can begin to tell you about.

Then, today I was planning for my Creative Writing class and teaching point of view, and I thought of the story of the Prodigal Son, and how the story isn't really about the son even though the title makes it sound like it's totally about the son.

Really it's about the dad, and the brothers who have done everything right, and how they choose to react to a son/brother who ran away from his life, his responsibility, took his inheritance squandered it on frivolity and sin, and then had the audacity to think that he could come home when things didn't go his way.

And the miracle was, that he could. And not only was he allowed back home, but they threw him a party. His indiscretions forgiven. His position in the family immediately reinstated, no questions, no punishment, no drama. Just a welcome home party.

The trivial thing I'm upset about?

A boy, a 17 year old boy we'll call Joe, quit football three weeks ago. He's good. He's real good. And I was mad. Mad because I knew he quit partly out of fear because this season is going to separate the men from the boys, and I really thought he'd be one of the men. Mad because he left teammates and coaches in a tough spot. Mad because his attitude was bringing the worldliness of the world way too close for comfort. Mad because God gave him a gift and he was throwing it away.

This child has more athletic ability in his front two teeth than most people ever have the pleasure of knowing. He is magic to watch on the football field...or he was.

Joe's family took a direct hit because of the economy because both the parents work at the executive level in the car industry. The manufacturing plant they worked for closed down this spring. His mom has already moved hundreds of miles away from the family to work while their father stays here so that Joe could finish his senior year. It's a tough situation for a really great family.

I really don't know all the details, but I know he needs football, and he needs Godly examples. He needs to shine in an area that is only his. He needs people to push him to develop his gift. So I started begging on Wednesday that he would go back to football.

Apparently he believed he wouldn't be wanted back- the team wouldn't welcome him back to the "family" he's been a part of for five years.

But he made a call this afternoon asking to come back to the team...

and it looks like he may have been right.

He might not be welcomed back.

There are two sides to the argument. It doesn't set a good example for the rest of the team- some would say it encourages quitting. There are consequences to his decisions; he made a choice now he has to live with it. There are rules and policies. I get that.

Sort of.

But this kid has been on my mind for three weeks- and he's been in my heart too. It's been a haunting really.

If we learn nothing else from our walk on earth and our constant striving to be more like Christ shouldn't we have learned that grace and mercy aren't grace and mercy if extending them is easy or logical? And just like the brother that watched his father rejoice at the return of the prodigal one, sometimes grace and mercy for one is a bitter pill for another.

But I ask you- have we forgotten who was on the cross and why He was there?

Peter, the apostle that Christ Himself renamed to reflect that he was a chip off The Rock, denied Jesus 3 times...in a row.

If anyone deserved to be banished from a team, it was Peter.

And Jesus just kept fishing him out of the water and bringing him back. Over and over and over.

If we haven't learned anything else, we were supposed to learn this. Our job isn't to hang with the 100 sheep that are staying in the pen. Our job is to go get the one that is lost and running with wild abandon in the field.

So I'm struggling with what will happen to Joe. You may say, give it up already, it's a silly game- it won't matter 50 years from now.

I disagree...this time. This one is going to matter, and not just to Joe. There are several boys that could learn a lot from having to pay part of Joe's debt so that he can return to the team. A "Lines" lesson could be exactly what they need.

It seems to me that if we live as we are commanded to live, loving everyone and extending grace just as it has been extended to us, the decision is a no brainer. The kid needs the team, he needs the men that coach the team, he needs football.

He's 17; he knows not what he does.

And I know this; I learned it from Coach- sometimes a game isn't JUST a game. Sometimes the game has eternity written all over it.

The decision that is made regarding this boy's future athletic career will impact him forever- it will determine his collegiate future, but it will also impact his world view and how he relates and reacts to people in his life.

And while Joe took his inheritance and ran off and "spent it frivolously" while his teammates were sweating and sacrificing for the greater good of the team, my hope is that this is a situation that those in charge can use to teach a lesson about the gospel and grace and mercy and restoration, and ultimately about LOVE.

Pray on this one.

See y'all






Thursday, August 13, 2009

There Are No Words

Dear,

Why did you have to go so soon? Because as much as I love the beginning of ...


Because it means it's time for...



I am feeling a little like...


Because this...



Will ring at 5:45 tomorrow morning and then I'll have to put on real clothes and go...



Which is not a bad place, but it doesn't have sand or waves or beach towels.



So I guess I'll go climb in...



And do this...



See y'all!

Monday, August 10, 2009

Role Model or Cautionary Tale???

It is the eve of yet another year of my teaching career, and I don't believe it was an accident that I happened upon a folder of "writing" that I had done as a child. You know- old book reports, and pages copied out of encyclopedias and creatively titled "Report on Africa."

I used to think of myself as a good judge of character; I've even prided myself on being discerning to a fault. Until the truth, in all it's glory, showed itself today.

The year- 1981. 5th grade. Mrs. McGhee's class. The assignment? Read a biography on a person you consider to be a role model and write a report on said person.

My choice...


Who knew that just a little over a decade later this guy would make headlines again?


That's right, my role model was, in fact, OJ Simpson. I have an unnatural weakness for football players- always have, always will.

Then there was this guy...


Meet Tony Robinson. Tennessee Volunteer quarterback extraordinaire...

until he was dismissed from the team for using cocaine. Tears were shed over this one. Many, many tears. I took it personally. Dad said, "Get used to it, it won't be the last time a guy lets you down." Truer words were never spoken.

And there was this guy, oh how I loved this one...


Pete Rose- banned from baseball for life for betting on his own games. And now I'm 0-3.

Next up?

Christie Brinkley. Turns out- not a terrible choice. Sure, she's been married a few times, and she's a tad air-headed from time to time, BUT she did have the good sense to marry Billy Joel. And she hasn't aged a single day. NOT. A. SINGLE. DAY.

The next one was really more of an obsession...

Lady Diana, Princess of Wales. We all know how this one ended- not pretty.

And while it was short-lived- I also had quite a fascination with this guy...

And if I have to be honest, I must admit I still like him more than I should.

Possibly the most embarrassing of all the celebrities I've admired are these two...

I cannot begin to describe to you my fascination and adoration of these two. Thursday nights = me + pizza+ Nick & Jess. EVERY. SINGLE. WEEK.

So, I do consider it to be somewhat of a victory that I was able to "discern" that things were not quite what they seemed with these two before I developed yet another unhealthy adoration of a celebrity.



It was close, too close for comfort. Yes, there were tears shed over the divorce announcement. Yes there were copies of US Weekly and In Touch purchased to get the "true" story. But I was able to walk away mostly unscathed by the drama.

And now I've moved on to this one...

Eric Berry. Why? Because he likes to hit people, he's fast, he defies gravity, he seems to be pretty humble and pretty grateful for his gifts, and because he's pretty. He is poetry in motion. When I watch him I thank God all over again for football. Which begs the question...

Role model or cautionary tale?

Only time will tell, but I'm crossing my fingers.

See y'all!

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Hangin' with the Girls...or When the Girls Start to Hang

So, I told you that I had a dinner for my mom and 6 of her friends last week.

It could have gone a couple of different ways.

Scenario one: a bunch of stuffy women wearing their Talbots best and an evening discussing the finer points of driving moccasins and chicken divan.

Or...

Scenario two: a gaggle of giggling women talking about Jesus and boobs.

We'll take scenario two please.

One of the women, Miss Trish, was diagnosed with breast cancer this past year. She's had a mastectomy and some chemo. She's pretty upbeat about it- and occasionally she'll just get downright funny about it. Hang on to that thought for a minute.

Another of the women, Miss Rose, is about 4'10 and 95 pounds- and 100% firecracker. Very funny lady, and she drives a purple PT Cruiser. My very favorite story to tell on her is one she told us at Bible Study. She prays as diligently as I eat- a discipline that I am trying to learn. Anyway, she told us that she woke up one day last spring and prayed the following: "Lord, I want you to guide my entire day. Every. Single. Minute. I'm just going to do what I hear you telling me to do- minute by minute." Then she looked at us and said, "I didn't do a single thing all day long." Maybe you had to be there, but her voice inflection and her look of complete dismay at the thought of doing nothing for an entire day was hilarious to me.

Then there's Miss Sarah. I had never met her before she walked in my front door. Which is why it was so weird that she walked in my front door, directly into my kitchen, made a comment about how good everything smelled, started opening drawers, found herself a spoon, and just started tasting things. You gotta love it- I sure did.

And Miss Tink- she's in her 70's and can tell a story that will make you wet your pants.

There were others all equally as entertaining, but the highlight of the night had to be when my mom gave one of them a birthday card that had a cartoon of a group of older women in bikini tops. Let's just say that the theme of the card was that eventually gravity wins.

And it's a shut-out.

One of them made a comment about how it looked like their particular group if they were to sport bikini tops.

At this point Miss Trish gleefully pointed out "NOT ME!"

And I said, "Well, I guess that is a definite plus from the cancer huh?"

And she said, "Yep. I go home and take off my hair and my boobs, and all is well."

Hmmmmm.

So I guess it's true; there is a silver lining to everything, because as I quickly approach the age where the girls will require their very own deodorant application, the ability to remove them at the end of the day is starting to sound mighty darn good.

See y'all!

Monday, August 3, 2009

Wish That I Was On Old Rocky Top...

In October God created football. Now the conferences were formless, and empty darkness was over the fields, but the Spirit of God was hovering over Knoxville.

And God said, "Let there be light", and Neyland Stadium sprang into being. God saw that the light was good, and he separated the light from the darkness. God called the light "Volunteers" and the darkness he called "Gators." And there were Volunteers and Gators--the first rivalry


And God said, "Let there be a conference between the states to separate team from team." So God made the conference and separated the schools. And it was so. God called the conference the "SEC."

And God said, "Let the fans under the sky be gathered to one place, and let orange ground appear." And it was so. God called the dry ground Shield-Watkins field, and gathered holy water around it and called it the Tennessee River. And God saw that it was good.


Then God said, "Let the field produce legends: seed-bearing legends on the field that is marked with orange and white, according to their various kinds. And it was so. The field produced many legends, according to their various kinds. And God saw that it was good. And there was evening and there was morning--the third day.

And God said, "Let there be lights in the expanse of sky to separate the winners from the losers, and let them serve as signs to mark the touchdowns of the mighty Vols. And it was so. God sent fireworks to celebrate the scores of the Vols. And God saw that it was good. And there was evening and there was morning--the fourth day.
And God said "Let the conference teem with living mascots, and let them travel across the expanse of the South." So God created the great mascots of the SEC and every living thing the fans consider holy. And God saw that it was good.

God blessed them and said, "Be fruitful and increase in number and fill the sporting world, and let the fans increase on earth." And God saw that it was good. And there was evening and there was morning--the fifth day.

Then God created Vols in his own image, in the image of God he created them; offense and defense, he created them.

God blessed them and said to them,"Be fruitful and increase in number; take over the conference and subdue them. Rule over the Dawgs of Georgia, and the Gators of Florida, the Hogs of Arkansas, the Elephants of Alabama, the Gamecocks of South Carolina, the Wildcats of Kentucky, and all the other creatures that roam the SEC.

Then God said, I give you every lineman on the whole earth and every running back that has legs with speed in them. They will be yours for victory. And it was so.

God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning--the sixth day.

Thus the SEC and the Vols were completed in all their vast array.

By the seventh day, God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he watched football. And God blessed Saturdays in the South and made them holy because it was with them that He rested.

When the Lord God made the stadiums and the fields--and no marching band had yet appeared and there were no quarterbacks to call the plays, orange seeped up from the earth and nourished the whole ground--the Lord God formed players from the dust of the field and breathed into their nostrils the breath of mountain air and the men became Vols.

Now the Lord God had planted a field in the east, in Knoxville; and there he put the men he had formed. And the Lord God made all kinds of fans that grew out of the land--fans that were pleasing to the eye and good for cheering...

The Lord God took the men and put them on the field in Knoxville to work it and win on it. And the Lord God said, "It is not good for the team to be without a defensive back. I will make a player suitable for them..."

(Hey Coach- I do believe that's your boy Tebow under there- wonder what word he's bringing now?)

Then the Lord God made Eric Berry and he brought him to the team.

Lane Kiffen said,

"He will now crush bone upon bone; and tear flesh after flesh; he shall be called #14, for he is Eric Berry."





For this reason a Gator will return to his swamp and a Dawg to his house and they will enter defeated, for they will be victims of one man."

http://www.berry4heisman.com/

See y'all!

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Pop Song Lyrics That Secretly Apply to Children

Most pop songs are not about kids and parenting. But, being a parent, you can't help but hear some songs in a new way.

Is There Something I Should Know?, by Duran Duran, is now sung to a colicky baby.
"Please, please tell me now
Is there something I should know?
Is there something I should say
That will make you come my way?
...
Don't say you're easy on me;
You're about as easy as a nuclear war."

Bloke, by Republica, is about dealing with a tantruming toddler.
"So don't you tell me, I'm not listening
I've already heard it...
I'm gonna take you on, I'm gonna take you on"

Who Needs Sleep?, by Barenaked Ladies, is pretty self-explanatory.
"Who needs sleep?
(well you're never gonna get it)
Who needs sleep?
(tell me what's that for)"

You Can Do It, by No Doubt, is now about being firm and forgiving with your children and yourself.
"I know it seems
They're messing with your mind
But you don't have to go
Forward blind
So let the bygones be bygone
And let's make an end
To this sad, sad song"

Communicate, by BT, is now about teaching a toddler to learn to talk.
"Communicate, communicate, communicate, communicate now.
Communicate, communicate
Learn to use your words so we can..."

So is De do do do, by the Police.
"De do do do, de da da da
Is all I want to say to you
De do do do, de da da da
They're meaningless and all that's true"

Lastly, Little Star, by Madonna, actually is about kids (I think). I thought I'd end on a non-cynical note.
"God gave a present to me
Made of flesh and bones
My life, my soul
You make my spirit whole.
Never forget who you are
Little star
Never forget how to dream
Butterfly"