Yeah, well. We had one. Today.
It's nothing serious, just a string of minor annoyances that aligned themselves into a series of attacks that could rival D-Day.
First, there are some things you need to know to fully appreciate the chaos. I joined Weight Watchers last Thursday...again.
You also need to know that for some diet-related reason I have not been able to get my mind off Boo Mama's post on the Pumpkin Spice Latte' from Starbucks.
And because we are only virtual friends, you will not know that I am repulsed by coffee, but I am. Can't stand it. Yet the PSL (that's Boo-Mama Speak for Pumpkin Spice Latte') had me intrigued.
Actually, not intrigued- just obsessed with doughnuts.
If you didn't make the jump with me from PSL to doughnuts let me back up a bit more. A few weeks ago Coach said he'd like to try a pumpkin doughnut from Dunkin Donuts. Boo Mama's talk of PSL's helped me remember Coach wanted a pumpkin doughnut. And we're here- Boo Mama's talk of PSL's naturally made me go straight to doughnuts. Because while I do not like coffee one little bit, doughnuts are an entirely different story.
I'd consider selling a child for one.
Which partially explains why I joined Weight Watchers last week...again.
A combination of dreary cool weather, a lack of sleep, and boredom led me to spend most of yesterday dreaming about doughnuts. More specifically a Dunkin Donuts blueberry cake doughnut. Mmmmmm mmmmm mmmm.
AC and I had some time to kill yesterday while G was at soccer practice so we ran to the bank to deposit donations from co-workers for little Madelyn and her family. And in what can only be explained as divine intervention, I learned the bank was near our city's ONLY Dunkin Donuts.
One problem. No WW points left. Looks like the diet was going to dash my doughnut dreams.
I could pretend that the reason for the trip was to buy Coach some pumpkin doughnuts and let the kids choose a couple for breakfast today. I NEVER let them eat doughnuts for breakfast- this was huge.
AC's head almost popped off.
So, in we went to buy the doughnuts. 1 dozen. I got Coach 3 pumpkin doughnuts, AC picked out flavors for her and G, and I got ONE. SOLITARY. BLUEBERRY. DOUGHNUT.
Yes, Mom- just one. (she'll never believe this)
And in a move that amazed Coach and left him speechless, I refrained from eating the blueberry doughnut last night because I had reached my point limit on Weight Watchers (WW).
So, I would wait until breakfast today. I spent well over an hour planning what I would eat today in order to fit in the 7 point doughnut- precisely 1/3 of my daily allowance of calories on one doughnut.
And SOOOOOOOO worth it.
Y'all I talked about that doughnut last night until Coach had a stroke.
Now that you know more than you've ever wanted to about my battle with the bulge and Dunkin Donuts, I'll continue on with my original story.
I was up until 3:00 am. I had to finish a video for the pep assembly this morning so that I could meet the technology dude at 7:30 to get it set up. (I might have also harvested some of AC's crops on Farmville- it's brought out some serious agriculturally related OCD in me.)
We have to be up NO LATER than 6:00 am in order to make it to school on time. This morning we woke up at 6:35.
Coach shot out of bed and made like Flash Gordon down the hall to ensure he had time to do his pregame sweeping & laundry schtick before he got dressed.
I ran around the bedroom chanting "It's time to eat the doughnut!"
Moments later as I was getting into the shower Coach came back in the bedroom a little dumbfounded and laughing because when he made it into the kitchen, G was sitting at the table completely dressed, bed made, room cleaned, soccer gear ready to go, eating doughnuts like he was Ward Cleaver or something.
He did not oversleep. He was up promptly at 6:00. Totally relaxed; totally into his breakfast.
Which begs the question "Why didn't he wake us up?" and then in one of the clearest moments of intuition I have ever experienced, I backed up. "You said he was in the kitchen eating doughnuts?"
And at the same time Coach and I both registered looks of pure, unadulterated terror.
I yelled down the hall, "Hey Buddy, what kind of doughnut are you eating?"
"The blueberry one." was all he said.
"Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo" was all I could say. And I promise I had to fight back tears.
Coach immediately took cover...and then he started laughing.
My head exploded.
You will never know the levels of restraint and disclipline I achieved last night.
And apparently I'll never know the wonderment of a Dunkin Donut blueberry doughnut.